Total Drama Survival: Revamp
by QueenGiovanni
Summary: A revamp of a Total Drama fic I wrote not to long ago. Prior warning: It features twenty-two original contestants, if you're one of those people who hates reading TD fics with originals, read at your own risk or don't read at all. Twenty-two new contestants compete for the grand prize, in a "TDI" replacement type of fanfiction.
1. Episode I: Catch-22 (Part I)

**_NOTICE!_**

**This IS a REVAMP of an old TD story I did...I deeply regret deleting it, but luckily, I saved it just in case. I don't want to go through a lengthy explanation why I deleted it, if you want to know, private message me. I only got far into writing three chapters, and then I was in the middle of writing my fourth and...stuff happened. I'm back now, though and I REALLY REALLY HOPE I can pull through with this fic. I've changed things a bit...but this chapter, I haven't changed much. Almost all of it is the same, I deleted some ****unnecessary words such as "to be," which is 'passive voice,' and I'm trying not to write like that. My writing somewhat differs than before, and I looked back at my old writing...it was a bit pretentious. I was very overambitious with this story, and it shows a bit in the writing. Nevertheless, the story is back and the cast did not change. So nothing to worry about...enjoy reading!**

_**(Most of what is written below was written around March of 2013)**_

* * *

**_Prologue_**

_This is my one of my several attempts at finishing fanfiction. I have been a Total Drama fanfiction writer for a while; I hope I can finish my first fanfiction with the beginning of a new series. My only goal is writing this as realistically yet imaginatively as I can. Frankly, I don't consider myself that competent a writer. Nonetheless, I might as well start now. I would like very detailed characters, and develop them into more relatable, well-developed responsible people in the process. All characters will presumably make a significant difference in their own lives after the fanfiction is finished. Along the way, there'll be new contestants. For now however, we're stuck with these twenty-two. Soon enough, you'll begin unraveling dramatic moments before your eyes. I thank everyone who took their time to read this little introduction. Feel free to drop your comments, advice and reviews! If you have further questions, you could either PM me or simply review here._

* * *

**Dramatis Personae**

_Augustus_

The Highbrow Intellectual

_Big Daddy_

The Rapper Wannabe

_Blake_

The Cocky Showoff

_David_

The Amish Boy

_Ethelinda_

The Gothic Clairvoyant

_Felicity_

The Bubbly Party Animal

_Genevieve_

The Egotistical Untalented Celebrity

_Hayley_

The Effeminate Drag Queen

_Iris_

The Disturbingly Insane Girl Who Drinks Cotton Candy Soda, Steals Oxygen Tanks From the Senior Citizens Home, Wears a Mexican Wig, Eats Babies, and Licks Other Girls Armpits for A Living

_Jacob_

The Perverted Ladies Man

_Jazmin_

The Gossip Columnist

_Kat_

The Runaway

_Lois_

The Nononsense Girl

_Mason_

The Marines Cadet

_Michele_

The Surfer Strategist

_Nigel_

The Chillaxed Dude

_Paisley_

The Zealous Environmentalist

_Seth_

The Garage Musician

_Stephanie_

The Small Town Girl

_Tania_

The Sweet Random Girl

_Thomas_

The Wallflower

_Zayden_

The Chill Couch Potato

* * *

It was six in the afternoon, the black birds migrating away. The sky glistened a peach-orange colour. The camera zoomed in from the deep Muskoka waters to the island. Dark green, fresh, prominent tall slender trees scattered throughout the island. A stretched-out dock stood out in front of the island. There was a whitewashed out sign with 'Welcome to Wawanakwa!' embossed in dark green letters. A particular man, who appeared well into his twenties, stood on the dock. His dark, shaggy straight hair was reminiscent of the typical teenage-boy hairstyle. He wore his favorite industrial grey, dark blue mishmash shirt. Christopher McLean, about to speak, looked confident in stance as gusts of Canadian wind blew his hair.

He turned to wink at the camera, clearing his throat. "Hey! Chris McLean here, the host with the most! This show is gonna be awe-awesome!" he paused vividly. "Total Drama Survival is a unique experience for the audience at home to enjoy. The drama, the challenges, everything; will happen in this abandoned summer camp, Camp Wawanakwa! Twenty-two people from all over the globe will compete for the grand prize! One freaking million dollars!"

He began pacing back and forth nervously. "Only the winner will claim the prize! The runner-up obtains half a million, the third-placer receives one hundred thousand and the fourth-placer gets only a penny!," he chuckled, grinning stupidly. "Out of the thousands who auditioned, I picked the top twenty-two that I found the most interesting! The best thing about it is...They all have deep insecurities; some obviously have too big of an ego to confess it. Most of them have one huge, dark secret, too big that it would destroy them, their safety…threatened, if anyone dare found out!"

Chris concluded, "The audience will enjoy watching the drama unfold in their very eyes! Who will be our winner? Who'll bring the most drama out? Who'll be our vilest villain? I'd say more but, I don't know, let's get started already!"

An antiquarian sailboat approaches shore, dropping off a fairly tall girl with long strands of light blond hair. She sported a baby blue glitter shrug jacket, medium-blue denim jeans and white heels.

"Felicity! Glad you could make it!" Chris giddily exclaimed.

She jumped like an eager child, "I can't believe I'm here, I can't wait to have so much fun here!"

Chris sighed annoyingly, "I wouldn't count on that if I were you, but whatever...She really enjoys shopping at malls and as the life of the party; she's always on her way to have a good time every day!"

"Where's the loo? I seriously have to tinkle," she asked, smiling innocently.

Chris facepalmed, pointing at the grotesque, compact square box behind him, "Yeah…it's right over there."

As Felicity ran, the next contestant arrived. It turned out to be a pensive girl, who had enormous dark grey, bushy hair. She wore a dark red sweater, and black skinny jeans.

Chris sulked, 'Our next person is...wow. I don't know why I chose you! According to the description, you're pretty boring… Lois."

"Yes, I know I'm boring. At least I can admit it, unlike yourself," the new girl spat blatantly. Chris, immediately taken aback, retaliated. "Hey! I'm the host with the most! You take it back!"

Lois rolls her eyes, "Did I offend you? I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to offend you, even though you're an arrogant bastard. Such pity I have for you."

Chris' voice reaches an angrier pitch, "Enough! Who do you think you are to insult me? This is my show, got it?!"

She shrugs, walking towards Felicity, who said, "That was so mean..."

Lois sighs, "Welcome to the real world..."

The third contestant, a tall guy both slender and muscular, beamed a genuine smile. He wore a light pastel green dress shirt, covered by his pristine denim overalls. What most people didn't notice was his Christian cross necklace.

"He's a...an Amish gentleman with ideal manners, and exceptional work ethic. He has the chivalry of a medieval knight...it's too bad he is very isolated from the outside world. Anyway, here's David!'

David timidly spoke. "Hello, Mr. McLean. Forgive me, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

Felicity blushed, but Lois remained unimpressed, crossing her arms.

David kneeled down, glimpsing at the crystal blue sky. He clasped his two hands, before breathing softly. "I would like to thank all of you very much for this opportunity; I wish to serve you all well. I would like to thank God for this great blessing. My Lord, I promise to talk to you every night during my stay on the island. I come to ask that you please protect us from harm's way during our stay and I hope nobody gets hurt. Thank you, God. Amen," David gets up, turning around to see the campers.

"Awe! That was such a cute little prayer!," Felicity clapped giddily.

David placed his hand on his heart, kneeling down once more. "Why, thank you, Mrs.?"

"Felicity!" she said in glee.

"Well done. Thank you for wasting your time.", Lois dully remarked.

Chris grew impatient, "You just ruined the moment...thanks Lois."

"You're the one who ruined the moment." she smirked back.

The sky becomes dark grey, as distant lightning suddenly bolts in the background. An angry boy with long straight, blond hair stomps off the boat, cladding a black tee with the words "The Grudge", dark blue worn-out jeans, and worn-out sneakers. He also donned several black rubber and metal bracelets on his right arm.

"Seth! How are you on this fine day?," Chris grinned, knowing the question would tick him off.

Seth growled. "Don't. Bother. Me. Kay?"

Chris backed away, alarmed. "Fine! Sheesh."

After glaring at the others, Seth groaned as he walked off, distancing from them.

Chris shrugged, "I don't know what his problem is but…he's a guitarist who recently started playing with his rock band, "The Grudge" in his garage..."

David looked troubled, whereas Lois' blank expression had not changed. Felicity was looking down at the ground, deeply saddened. "Should I walk up to him, guys?"

Lois unexpectedly sneered, "We'll prepare for your funeral in the meantime."

Felicity gave her a confused look, but decided to walk up to him anyway. "Hey…are you okay?"

Seth, who sat down on the ground, sternly said. "What part of not bothering with me did you not understand? Get lost."

"I just want to help with whatever problem you're having. I really hate to see people all sad. Everybody should be like happy, add a bit of colour in your life!," she smiled, nevertheless failing to improve Seth's mood.'

"Too bad that I don't care…go live in your fantasy world. I'd rather suffer a slow, agonizing death then survive with such ignorance, to foolishly believe that by constantly being happy and cheery, everything will be all right. You, nor anyone else, aren't aware of how much I've suffered. You're very fortunate you have parents and friends who love you. Now, imagine if all of that was taken away from you.," Seth ominously suggested.

Felicity frowned, "…That would be so terrible! I'm really sorry."

He snickers in a slight sinister tone. "I don't need your pity. That shit doesn't work with me. I can tell that you benefit best by living the rest of your life in blissful ignorance, so do me a favour and live your life, otherwise it'd be my pleasure in crumbling it into oblivion."

Both David and Lois appeared apprehensive. "Don't worry…He will help him. He helps everyone, because he loves every one of us," David promisingly implied.

"Who's he?," Felicity asked.

"He's talking about God, our quote-on-quote Saviour. The One who apparently loves us so dearly, he let over six million Jews di…," she didn't have the chance to continue, as Chris interrupted.

"Shut up, Lois!," Chris spat.

As a shadowy figure steps off a new boat, he's revealed as a tall, bronzed, skinny guy dressed in pure feminine attire. His face covered with typical girly makeup, the black mascara, the pink lipstick. He is wearing a pink skinny blouse, light blue girly skinny jeans, and small black flip-flops. Also included are countless tacky accessories such as: a lime green feather boa and cheap plastic big sunglasses with obnoxiously big yellow rims. He tosses multi-coloured, bright confetti; patting his shoulder-length, curly dark brown wig. He threw his arms in the air, smiling with great pride.

"Hey girls and boys! Hayley is here, Hayley the fantastical performer has arrived with such beautiful bliss! We all know that all the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts. His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant, mewling and puking in the nurse's arms, then the whining school-boy, with his satchel and shining morning face, creeping like snail unwillingly to school."

He puts his hand on his heart, sighing dramatically as he sang the following lines. "And then the lover, sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad, made to his mistress' eyebrow."

"Then a soldier," he playfully salutes, his voice changing into a deeper voice. "Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard, jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel, seeking the bubble reputation, even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice, in fair round belly with good capon lined, with eyes severe and beard of formal cut, full of wise saws and modern instances; and so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon," he walks similar to a hunchback. "With spectacles on nose and pouch on side, his youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide for his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice, turning again toward childish treble, pipes and whistles in his sound."

"Last scene of all, that ends this strange eventful history, is second childishness and mere oblivion. Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything!," Hayley theatrically faints.

Everyone but Felicity appeared unenthusiastic. She was the only one clapping, "EEE! That was such a great performance! You should be an actor for The Globe!"

Hayley gasped, astonished at her compliment, "OMG! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW! I HAVE TO HUG YOU!," he quickly ran up, squeezing Felicity tightly. She looked uncomfortable at first, but smiled shortly afterwards.

The other three people still remained disturbed. Chris pointed out, "He is an actor, he's an aspiring Broadway actor and obviously, a drag queen."

David raised his hand. "Mr. McLean, what is a drag queen?"

Chris facepalmed, "A dude who dresses like a girl…"

"Oh…," David was left confused.

Hayley and Felicity walk together, with the remainder of the cast in the background. "What a fabulous jacket! Where did you get this lovely article of clothing?," Hayley questioned.

Felicity giggled, "Aww, thank you! I got this from a fellow mate at a party I went to a month ago. It's my favourite jacket so far! Thank you so much for this, Sally! And Hayley, I love your blouse! Most guys get all grotty about pink."

"Alas, they do! Such specification that pink is a female colour is childish!" Hayley agrees, "You're British?"

Felicity nodded, cackling with Hayley. "British, I am! No, I don't like in London, if you want to know."

The next boat left a fairly fair-skinned short girl. She had dirty medium-length blond hair, a light green sweater exposing her navel, and pale blue booty-shorts. She walks onto the dock, grinning at everybody.

"Hey, everyone, my name's Stephanie and I come from Cambria, California! You look like nice people, and I'm glad to meet everybody."

Seth worn a smug smile, while Chris slowly nodded. "Well, I'm glad you're enthusiastic. Stephanie is your typical small town girl who joined for a whole new experience."

"Sounds about right," she replied.

"Hey girly!," Hayley waved. "The name's Hayley. It's fantastic to see another actress accepted to star in this fabulous production. Would you like to join Felicity and I? Who wouldn't want to become acquainted a lovely girl like you?"

Stephanie quietly laughed, "Nice to meet you, Hayley. Thanks for the welcome! And sure, I'd love to!"

Lois, who stared at them, candidly rebuffed, "Since when did Barbies become people?"

David looked on, "They're happy together and that's all that matters. Not like that guitarist guy. Poor guy," he frowned.

Seth scolded, grabbing the nearest twig and tearing it apart.

Lois, who saw this, pointed out icily, "Don't worry. He's happy. Can't you tell by that angry glare?"

"Hmm…maybe he is happy."

Lois gave him the "Are You Serious?" look, walking away afterwards.

Hayley, Felicity, and Stephanie were sitting together, laughing like innocent school girls. Hayley touched Stephanie's shoulder. "So Steph…if it's okay if I call you that."

"It's okay. Actually, plenty of people in my high school call me that."

"So, what do you do in your spare time?," Hayley took off his plastic sunglasses.

"I do plenty of things. I'm the captain of my volleyball team and head of the broadcast journalism club. I plan on becoming an international TV journalist. I can just picture myself on TV, narrating my side of the story on the most important, controversial world events to the whole world. It's really entertaining to get involved with what is going on the world today."

"Oh, I totally understand what mean. I'm an actor and it's oh, so fabulous to be on stage, and to play a different role. It's so boring living your life being the same person every single day, and by acting as a character, you discover new personalities. You play the character with your heart. You bring it to life, give it your all. I've always sought to sing with my soul to the world! It feels so fantabulous!," Hayley softly giggled.

Felicity joins in with a shrill laugh, "That all sounds interesting!"

"Enough with the girly chit-chat!," Chris shouted, gesturing them to come back.

"About time," Seth dramatically rolled his eyes.

When Hayley and the two girls rejoin the cast, a petite girl with short brown shaggy hair appears. She was dressed in a worn-out, artificial leather jacket, a blue mid-length denim skirt, black combat boots and fishnet stockings.

"Here's Kat, a young woman who ran away from her parents."

"Awe…", Felicity and Stephanie both harmonize.

Kat looked uncomfortable, glancing at the girls. She then glared at Chris, jabbing her finger, "Did you have to inform everybody about that on national TV? That's nobody's business."

Chris sadistically laughed. "Yes…Yes I did. You're on national TV, not my fault."

Without second thought, Kat marched up to Chris. "It isn't your fault, but it's not my fault that you're asking for trouble, either," she raised her fist near his cheek.

Lois and Seth chuckled to themselves, while David intervened. He walked up to them, attempting to separate the two. "Guys, let's not fight on our first day. Please, let's not upset God tonight."

"Yeah, we can't upset the greatest invented concept tonight.," Lois half-heartedly agreed.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind."

"Kat? Is it?," David naively interrupted.

"What?," she irritatingly uttered.

"I don't want to offend or nose around but, why'd you run away from your parents?"

"Why do you care? You just met me today?"

"I'm sorry you're going through hard times…just pray to God, and he'll grant your wish!," David's demeanor changed from serious to blissfully idealistic.

Everyone stared at him and Kat. She surrendered, deciding to reveal what was bothering her. "Fine, you guys wanna know since I'm on public TV? Might as well tell why. I was so sick of my parents verbally abuse me and their stupid fights! They always complained about how I wasn't their perfect Daddy's little girl! Ugh, I can't stand them. I'm not talking about this ever again, so don't ask me again," she paused, "and don't you dare tell anyone else either."

"I'm sorry. I have faith in you to forgive them eventually. They deserve it…right?," David questioned innocently.

Kat groaned, "No, no they don't. I rather not."

Another white boat drops off someone new. A slender guy with a childlike face reddens. He pulled up his dark blue jacket hood, not wanting anyone to notice him. His hair was coarse, dark and poofy. As everyone looked at him oddly, he looked down, trying to avoid eye contact. He tucked his hands on his navy blue jean pockets and awkwardly walked away.

Chris gave a shockingly warm welcome. "Thomas! Welcome! He's a bit timid as you can see. I don't know what your deal is, are you embarrassed that you're on TV?"

"I don't know," Thomas suddenly blushed.

Felicity skipped to Thomas, clutching his hand, "You're soooo quiet! Why don't you join us?"

Thomas mumbled something inaudible.

Felicity seemed puzzled, "Well…I'm sure you'll make up your mind, right?," she awkwardly giggled.

Thomas shrugged, walking off strangely without saying a word.

A ninth boat leaves a somewhat tan guy, with short spiky dark red hair. He had bangs that covered his right eye. He donned a pale yellow Bob Marley shirt, light grey skinny jeans with knee-holes, and light-sky blue hightops.

Blake took out his shades, putting them on, "Let's do this shit."

Chris sneered. "Blake, welcome to the island."

He rolled his eyes and scoffed, "So I'm looking at everyone…This is too easy for me. I'm winning, that's no question. Look at all you chumps, I can take everyone down in less than a day."

"Cocky bastard," Seth seethed under his breath.

Stephanie appeared offended, not hesitating to tell him off. She placed her hands on her hips, "I wouldn't be too sure of yourself if I were you. Watch what you say, you'll be voted off before you see the light of day."

"Yeah umm…Blake is cocky. He likes to show off a lot. Doesn't seem like he'll be making friends anytime soon.," Chris scratched his head.

As everyone glared at Blake, he ignored them and said, "I'm sure you would've done the same if I wasn't cocky, so shut up."

Everyone gasped, before he continued, "And I didn't sign up to make friends. I got friends back home. I already have the ladies drooling over me too. Point is, I'm winning, and you weirdos can't do shit. I mean, look at you guys. Like that…thing over there," Blake pointed his finger at Hayley.

Hayley stood his ground, "Thing? Someone doesn't know their vocabulary. I'm afraid that you're the thing here. Tools are things, and you're obviously one, so save your cocky attitude elsewhere before I kick you from this island all the way to your Mommy's tea party house. I'd love to drink tea with your mother, listening to that eloquent music she sings, "OH! Blake Is Driving me Crazy!""

Blake fumed, clenching his fists. He wanted to say something, only for Hayley to declare, "I'm going to show this arrogant bastard who's the real man!"

"Go Hayley!," Stephanie cheers on , as she and Felicity clap. Even Thomas smiled.

Hayley, taking the centre stage, grabs a pink faux-microphone from his bag and began singing Carly Simon's signature song, "You're So Vain", whispering the words "Son of a gun…"

"This is dedicated to all the cocky son of a guns in my school, but most especially, the excuse of a human we should label as 'Blake.'" He slowly paced himself, blowing a kiss at Blake aware it would piss him off.

He broke into a slow choreography, performing with several unique poses.

"You're so vain! You probably think this song's about you, don't you? Don't you? Don't you, now!," he angrily points at Blake as he twirls his hips near the song finish.

Hayley spun around in circles, throwing the microphone to the ground. He excitedly blew kisses at the audience, who all clapped (except for Chris, Seth, and obviously Blake).

"You did such a good job!," Felicity cheered. She walked up to him and gave him a hug.

Hayley hugged her back, exclaiming, "Thank you!," he let go of Felicity to bow down before his audience.

Regardless of, Blake chortled, "I've heard way better singers than you, and I find it amusing that you call yourself a man though you act like a complete queer. Look, you're all weak, it's a fact."

Some of the girls gasp, but Hayley surprisingly remains cool. Kat, who had a mischievous smirk on her face, gestured for Blake to follow her. "Let me show you something."

"What?," Blake impatiently said.

Keeping her roguish smile, she followed Blake to the dock. "I'm so sorry they're being so mean to you," she looked remorseful, clutching Blake's hands.

Blake looked confused, "But I have to do this," Kat revealed her intentions with her smirk, pushing him off the dock.

Everyone saw this, laughing as Blake plunged to the deep waters.

"There's a new fact! The fact that I kicked you! Who's weak now?," Kat burst in laughter.

Blake, angry as ever, tried to jump back up to the dock, only for Kat to kick him back to the water.

Even Chris was amused at this prank and cackled. "Whether he'll win or not is beyond me."

Boat ten adjoins the tip of the dock, leaving a tall girl with shoulder-length dark blue hair, a butterfly pin clipped behind. She wore a plain white tee tucked into an electric blue knee-length sarong, and simple brown flip-flops along with many necklaces and multi-colored bracelets on her left wrist.

She slowly walks out, meticulously analyzing the island. "Hmm, this island doesn't look in its best shape," she points at the beach. "This beach should be cleaned up. We should start a team project and tidy up the beach, there's garbage all around, and that pollutes our environment."

Chris looked extremely annoyed with her. "Ahh, Paisley. The environmentalist who aspires to perfect nature."

"But it must!," Paisley confirmed her worry. "As brothers and sisters, we have to unite and heal the world together! People are getting selfish! They care less and less about Mother Nature, it's such a disgrace! We don't want to hurt her feelings, do we? Why can't we just work as one?," Paisley continued to beg, attemptting to reason.

Her plea leaves the contestants unconvinced.

Blake noticed the new contestant, even though he pretended not to, "Hello? Somebody get me out of this nasty water!"

Paisley ran over to the edge of the island to help Blake up. "Are you okay?! Why were you in the water? You could've drowned! How did he end up in the water?!," her voice commanded an answer.

Kat scoffed. "He deserved it. Served the jerk right."

"You should never hurt people! He could've died and you might've been responsible. You should watch what you're doing next time," Paisley warned.

Blake regained his usual smug attitude. He walked back towards the contestants, who all glared at him.

Paisley stared, appalled by his perceived impoliteness. "Where is my thank you? I just saved your life!"

He snickered, "Who said I had to say thank you? I don't thank others, they thank me."

Paisley gasped, not aware of Blake's cocksureness, "You don't have manners! That was a rude thing to say!"

"And then he was sentenced to be deserted in the waters…until the hero had to bail him out, of course," Hayley icily remarked.

"Right…," Chris reluctantly approved.

Suddenly, the contestants heard loud, scattering screams. The storms once again, dominated the atmosphere. While the sky turned grey, the eleventh boat speedily comes to the island.

The insane laughter was getting louder as the boat almost crashed into the dock. The boat swiftly turned to leave.

A short girl dressed as Little Red Riding Hood, fingerless gloves as well as black combat boots, jumped out the boat, revealing the exact crazy hysterical laugh.

Everyone, scared for their life, backed away. "It's cookie time! Who wants' a cookie? I want my cookies, now!," she scrammed about the ground to search for the said-cookies.

Chris deviously grinned, "Iris? They aren't any cookies…there are on Chef's kitchen but they're only for me so."

Nevertheless, Iris frantically ran around the contestants. "Give them to me! Mine, mine, mine! Before I yank all of your fingernails and use them for my salad!"

Seth facepalmed, "They aren't any cookies."

Lois reluctantly approached her, cupping her hands and sporting a feign smile, "Here are your wonderful cookies, ones with no ingredients."

Iris banged her head on Lois' hands, randomly licking them. Lois, very disgusted, quickly pulled away, "COOKIES! Muehehehehehehehehehehe!," Iris noticed a random tree from the forest, "Oh, hey, Mr. Tree! Want me to cut you down? I'll mutilate all of your branches, and then you shall die! Die, die, die!"

"Why did you bring this psycho bitch?," Blake impolitely asked.

"I don't know, but some guy told me that Iris escaped from a mental asylum. She might be schizophrenic or severely bipolar, we don't know enough about her mental health," Chris said.

Paisley glimpsed at the forest and looked deeply troubled. "Let's hope she doesn't destroy the environment. The last thing we need is some crazy girl ruining Mother Nature's beautiful offerings."

"I don't care, as long as she doesn't kill me or something," Blake added.

Iris twirled her skirt, bursting into insane laughter. "I remember when I drank blue cotton candy soda, after I amputated this old ladies arm, and then, I devoured her left eye for dinner. It was so yummy! It tasted like pizza; the blood reminded me of tomato sauce, gooey and yummy!"

Everyone, minus Seth gasped.

Stephanie nearly barged, when Paisley confronted Iris. "So you're a cannibal?! You revolting freakazoid of a monster?!"

"I'm sure she has dementia. Stop making a big deal out of everything, you've been irritating me since you arrived with your whining," Seth reprimanded while trying to contain his cool.

Paisley gave him a fierce stare and the "I'm watching you" gesture.

A twelfth ferry arrived by in more serene conditions. A moderately buff guy stepped off the dock, carrying a worn-out suitcase. He had a short dark brown crew cut, and was dressed up in a dark green T-shirt, blue jeans, and black combat boots. He was ready to participate, with a determined mindset.

"Mason, our cadet from Arizona. You've shown to have quite the strength in your audition tape," Chris said.

"I guess so. It wasn't my choice; I was simply in the wrong path of my life. Now I must face the consequences."

Stephanie gives a smile, proud of his first impression.

Mason nods, proud of his own statement as well. "I plan to play in honor and deep value. If I cause any harm, I apologize. If I seem harsh at times, please understand that sometimes, you have to be, especially in a place that demands endurance."

Blake laughed while undermining his earnestness. "You're so pathetic. You make me laugh with your attitude. I'm better then you and everyone else in the game. We all know it, Uncle Sam. You might as well give up."

Mason flared up, marching up to him. "You have no respect; I can tell that you only care for yourself. You have no right to tell me to give up something I've been trying to accomplish for so long. You need to shape up and learn respect, is that understood?!"

"Don't freaking tell me what to do! I know what I'm doing."

Mason grabs his shirt collar, his tone becoming more threatening. "Than…YOU don't tell me what to do. Now, answer my question. Is that understood?!"

Blake shockingly gulped, "Sir, yes sir!"

Mason lets go of his shirt collar, fiercely staring at him with fire in his eyes.

Blake secretly cackled. However, Hayley caught this, "Once upon a lovely time, an elderly lady read me a bedtime story. That lady was my grandmother. She told the Tale of a knight who was feeble and had the ugliest face. He had tried and tried to save a lovely, innocent princess, that princess being me of course. He always boasted how they'll end up together in forever's eternal grace. He laughed at his fellow peers; he'd always tell the tale of how nobody will rescue this precious lady, foolishly convinced that she was only mad about him. Of course though, when he tried for the final time, he encountered a dragon who breathed heavy fire all over him, reducing his carcass to burnt ashes. And do you want to hear the beautiful quote that my dear grandma told me?"

Most of the contestants appeared confused.

"The strong people always have humility; the weak are arrogant and envious. Guess who the weak one is?"

Blake lost it, giving in to his fury, "You know what? Fuck all of you! I know I'm going to fucking win, and Hayley, you're going to regret everything!," he stormed off.

Hayley looked indifferent, as Kat shrugged, "He'll be going home, right?"

"Yes!," all of the contestants exclaim.

"Perhaps I should try to reason with him…," David prepared to get up.

Stephanie however, saw this and whistled. "Sit down, David. He's not worth anybody's time."

Everyone nodded in harmony. Stephanie looked down at Mason, "My apologies about that. Don't worry, as soon as whatever team he's on loses, he'll be heading home. He ended up on the wrong show."

Mason nods, "It's all right. I was taught to pay no attention to people like him."

Kat interjected, "You're quite the brave man, soldier. Now, drop me ten, sir!"

Surprisingly, Mason laughed, doing ten push-ups perfectly. Most of the contestants clap afterwards.

"Yeah, yeah," Chris added dully.

A tall, scrawny male contestant with shaggy golden brown hair, showed up. He has a light blue T-shirt with the words "Orgasm donor," sky blue skinny jeans and white washed-up sneakers. He grinned ingenuously.

"Hey ladies," the boy murmured breathlessly.

Everyone appeared indifferent to him. Kat smirked, "I don't date children."

"I'm not a child. I'm a man. Your man, baby," the cassanova-wannabe winked.

Kat rolled her eyes, "Keep on dreaming."

"My dream is to be with you."

"This is Jacob. And yes, he's quite perverted. As you can see by the shirt," Chris points in disgust.

Lois, Mason and Kat all point at his shirt, synchronizing in laughter. Lois added, "And who do you plan on donating that too? I'm not an option, and never will be."

"You just got BURNED, SON!," Chris mocked him, "Who wants to be his girlfriend?"

The girls all gaze at Jacob. After a second, they break into hysterics. Except for one person.

Paisley furiously called him out, "You're so disgusting! That shirt is not funny at all. That's offensive to us women everywhere. Who's with me?"

Everyone stayed silent, this time staring at Paisley. "But…it's an offensive shirt!"

"And you're offensive to look at." Jacob winked, retaining his smile. "Who would like a special donation from me?"

Felicity hopped up, "Oooh! I'd like one! What are you donating?"

Paisley snarled, "You've got to be kidding." Lois and Stephanie nodded with her.

Jacob looked at everyone's somber faces, sighing silently.

While Chris glared at everyone, his phone unexpectedly rang, "Chris McLean here…I'm hosting a show you know…no boat? Why is she not on a boat? I instructed everyone to get here by boat!"

The sky becomes dark purple, when everyone started hearing loud, whispering echoes throughout the sky. A Gothic black gate ascended as an angelical choir emerged, singing in an unfamiliar language. As the gate opens, an elderly lady strode through the clouds. She clutched onto her long, flowing dark purple gown with a shiny black corset that clipped her waist. She had long, white hair, a unique streak of black hair running along the middle. Her skin, pure as snow. She slammed the gate shut, causing the echoing to stop. The woman levitated down the sky, approaching the island.

Some contestants were awestruck, while a few remained apathetic at her enigmatic entrance.

"Greetings, my children. My name is Ethelinda von Valmantia. I do not originate from this planet; I originate from another faraway land. I doubt anyone has ever heard of it, it's called "Ithika." Have not to fear, I am a human being with a soul, like you. The difference is that our worlds are significantly distinctive. Your world relies on realistic means of solving common problems. Ours rely on what this world judges as unreal supernatural abilities. Most of us believe in the concept of magic by heart. There are a few people on Earth who do too, but not nearly enough. It would be sanctimonious of me to enforce my beliefs upon you; I do not seek to impose them. I merely come to learn the traditions of Earth. Hopefully, I gain significant knowledge from this," she finished her introduction, landing close to Chris on her feet, smiling quirkily.

Paisley and Lois stare skeptically, disbelieving every word. Despite this, Mason gives her a warm welcome, "Welcome to Earth, ma'am. My name's Mason."

"You remind me of a friend back home. He's a valiant warrior who fights with his heart, he's a good man. I'm sure you'll make a fine fighter someday."

"Woah," Jacob couldn't help but stare. "You look hot for an old lady."

Mason snapped his fingers. "Jacob! Manners."

Ethelinda laughed faintly, "I don't know what he means; I am only 1,459 years old. I am not that old."

Seth, annoyed with her presence, depressingly suggests. "This has to be hoax. There's no way a person like you could exist in real life. You're just pretending. You're an actress. Sure, Hayley really annoys me with his unnecessary flamboyant attitude, but at least he's more honest about it."

Ethelinda ignored his statement, while Hayley furrowed his eyebrows. He turned to smile at Ethelinda, "I couldn't believe that such a mortal as you could subsist through your voyage!"

She smiled back, noticing most contestants gathering around in a circle, fascinated by her mystic demeanor.

"Mrs. Valmantia, why did you sign up? I'm curious!" Felicity grinned eagerly.

Ethelinda walked over to sit next to her. "Well, child. I came to Earth because a friend of mine constantly informed me many things that happened here. My world is discontent about Earth, they're not impressed of how things are here. They detest how they overlook the concepts that we hold dear, such as magic. They also complain of how uninteresting it is to conform to science. For instance, rather than levitating like we do, you drive in these machines we call Rentsugan. It's Ithikan for car. Our world doesn't understand how nobody on Earth possesses what we do, like telepathy and the ability to communicate with our deceased loved ones. I didn't join the "Earth sucks, we're better" clique. Instead, I decided to keep an open mind and experience the potential beauty Earth has."

Seth pitifully chuckled, "You're gonna be so disappointed, I guarantee you. This place is full of evil."

"That's not true! The world is a great place," Paisley butted in. "It's the environment we need to look out for. Our world is filled with arrogant people who only care about themselves! They trash nature, cut down our trees and litter the beaches! I opposed this for too long and it's my duty to help the world, where I demand team effort and a responsible mindset!"

Everyone stands up, as Ethelinda wisely suggests. "I am happy that everyone has strong determination. It is sad, however, to note that I sense major conflict. Hopefully, you kids work things out."

Almost everyone laughed, as Chris shrugged. "Good luck with that happening, Ethelinda."

A fifteenth boat arrives. Like the last introduction, there was a choir background but not as noticeable. A tall bronze man with neat straight black hair and an antique wardrobe arrived. He wore an off-white dress shirt, pinned with an off-brown vest that went with his dark brown trousers and black loafers. He brought a bamboo cane with him and tons of books.

"Hmm," the enigmatic man exited the boat. "Canada, this is a rather unprecedented locality. I have not concerned myself with visiting the Western Hemisphere; even now it remains undistinguished compared to the East. Nevertheless, it is not tainted; therefore I do not see why I cannot venture for the first time."

"Augustus…you might not want to offend us Canadians…or Americans. Pretty much everyone except for Felicity and Ethelinda," Chris advised.

Augustus carefully placed his baggage aside him. "I have no intention in affronting anybody. Sensibly speaking, I am here purely for special reasons."

Chris tiredly pointed out, "We know, Augustus. He is an intellectual from Greece who had achieved his education unlike any other. He was classically educated and taught the works of Plato, Aristotle blah blah blah."

Augustus disapprovingly shook his head. "It is not blah blah blah. It is to my ignominy that none of you know of the substance value that these philosophers have brought."

"Huh?" Jacob looked dazed.

Augustus wanted to say something however, Ethelinda approached him with her usual gracious smile. "If it makes you feel any better, I know who these people are. They made up the Earth the way it is now, am I correct?"

Augustus nods at her. "Yes, yes you are. Aristotle, Plato, and Socrates are all responsible for what civilization is made up of now. Socrates taught Plato, and then Plato taught Aristotle. These three thinkers turned early Greek philosophy into the beginnings of Western philosophy as it is today. Aristotle taught Alexander the Great, who later conquered the entire Middle East. Plato's main ideas were that knowledge from the senses was always confused and not pure. True knowledge can be received from the thinking soul that turns away from the world. Only the soul can have knowledge of "Forms", the real way things are. The world is only a copy of these "Forms" and is not perfect. Aristotle thought differently. He thought that knowledge from the senses was more important. These thoughts became some of the roots of the scientific method after hundre….," during his lengthy explanation, almost everyone dozed off.

"Yeah, we don't care. Stop talking before I fall asleep," Chris yawned.

Augustus gazed at everybody, who woke themselves up after their brief siesta.

Kat stretched out her arms, yawning, "Umm…wait. What happened?"

Lois sarcastically added, "Our teacher recited things I already know. That was pure fun, almost like riding a roller coaster! Oh, what a thrilling experience."

Chris expected a sixteenth boat. He looked at his wrist, "What now? Is this a "no-boat" arrival incident again? I don't have ti…"

Approaching shore was a surfer, who was a girl, dressed in a dark green wetsuit. She looked like a Pacific Islander; her dark curly brown shoulder-length locks weren't soaked from the rough waves. The girl had an auburn complexion, and dark brown almond eyes. She appeared rather optimistic, proven by her genuine warm smile.

"Michele! Welcome to the island! You actually surfed all the way here?"

Michele happily answered, "Thank you Chris! No, I didn't. I surfed to California, then flew to Toronto, then I surfed. "

"Cool! I used to surf all the time!," Paisley shockingly said in a friendly tone.

Michele wanted to reply, but it was too late. A helicopter took over the skies already. The helicopter, which was dark red and had a white stripe running through the middle, suddenly hovered over the island. It landed close to where everyone stood. They instantaneously recoiled, when a familiar person departed the helicopter. This female of average height clad a dark red, tight cocktail dress with black fluffy fur surrounding the top of the dress. On her feet were traditional black Mary-Jane heels.

The lady bickered, "Are you kidding me? Who are these clowns? I didn't sign up to participate with people I don't know! I am a famous celebrity, the best celebrity there ever was…and you put me with these commoners? Why am I in this dump? I thought we were going to Monte Carlo! Where's the dressing room? I need a wardrobe change to wear a different outfit every day. Where's my personal limousine? And what happened to my butler, I need somebody to iron my dresses!"

Everybody glared at her. They weren't impressed by her attitude at all, not even Hayley.

"I hate this actress…," he quietly seethed.

Seth facepalmed, "Oh, great, don't tell me we have another Blake."

"I'm afraid we do, this is…"

The lady was quick to retort, "You don't get to introduce me, I didn't give you permission. Everybody knows me, if they don't, they're dead to me. Everyone knows "5 Days in Chicago," I loved seeing those rave reviews on my fan blogs. And my newest album, "Torn That Way," sold out!"

Hayley took her on, dismayed at her snobby attitude. "Torn That Way made my ears bleed. Of course, an arrogant dame like you is now forever classy because her movies and latest album sold out? Not according to RottenTomatoes, "5 Days in Chicago" bombed…big time. You KNOW that nobody's paying attention, so you act all haughty because of it. You're envious that you're not getting that dear attention to tell yourself you have. And by the way, I'm still recovering from brain fatigue watching that movie. You are the most appalling actress I've seen, Genevieve Farrell," he whipped his curly wig.

Genevieve was about to say something but Hayley continued his rant. "Let me tell you why you are a horrible actress. You have no enthusiasm whatsoever, no feeling. You have no acting talent. I acted my whole life, ever since I was four. I know how to play a character by heart, with passion and emotion! Acting without emotion is not acting, it's forced caricature. And simply because you're the only walking star with forever grace, that doesn't entitle you to act as an arrogant spoiled brat," Hayley brushed off.

Genevieve sneered, nevertheless keeping silent.

David groaned, "Come on guys, I know we're tired, but let's just get along."

Chris lukewarmly agreed, "Yeah, we need to hurry."

Genevieve glared at the contestants, hiding behind everyone else. She had a sneaky smile, "This isn't the last they see of me," she scorned under her breath, hungry for revenge.

The next arrival is back to normal. A new boat left a petite girl with light ebony skin and moderate amounts of make-up. She had a black long ponytail that reached all the way to her waist. She had a normal-blue halter top, and black mini-skirt and Tom-Toms.

"This is interesting, kind of."

Chris shuddered, "Not really, but…you're in the island now. Meet Jazmin, our gossip columnist."

Ethelinda adjusted her corset. "Even though I oppose with gossip, I welcome you in open arms."

Jazmin gawked. "Umm, thanks? You seem…," she struggled with word choice. "Confusing? Yeah…"

As everyone remained quiet, Jazmin didn't say a word. After a few seconds, she couldn't help it anymore. "Ugh, I'm not going to say anything. Why are you people so quiet? What's the matter? Hello? We're on national TV. We should…"

Suddenly, Iris ran up to the contestants. "Muehehehehe! I am back! I talked to the trees, and they all want you to swim naked and expose your breasts since they need breastmilk. Hee hee."

The contestants answered Jazmin's question by motioning at Iris.

"Yeah, no," Jazmin was sickened, closing her eyes.

"So, nothing you want to share?," Chris asked.

Jazmin said, still with her eyes closed. "Nope. Not yet. This is just the beginning."

Michele nodded, while the eighteenth arrival was extravagant one again. A slim, short freckled fair-skinned guy with a purple cap put on backwards repeated. "Yo yo yo! Who's your Big-Daddy?" He wore a purple sleeveless bomber jacket, with cheap sunglasses and saggy jeans. "Yo! What up homies! Big-Daddy in the house, yo!," he attempted to do a backflip, only to painfully fall on his back.

The contestants laughed, whispering to each other. When Big-Daddy got back up, he tugged on his shirt, "Yo, mothafokas! Big-Daddy is here now, and the ladies b droolin'?"

Augustus looked disappointed, "It is a shame that Western Civilization has regressed to such trash culture."

"I don't know what the fok u talkin about, dawg!," he grinned, revealing his rotten teeth, contaminated with maggots.

"Ugh, brush your teeth!," Jazmin backed away immediately.

Big-Daddy ran up to her. "Like ma grills, sexy chik? How 'bout you be gettin witz me?," he slid his hand to tap Jazmin's behind.

Now very angry, Jazmin quickly pushed him to the water, "Hey! Don't grab my ass!"

Everyone quickly turned around, gasping.

"You've got to be kidding me," Stephanie looked down to the water.

"I'm calling the police! Sexual harassment is a crime!," Paisley threatened as she ran over to the dock.

Genevieve evilly smirked, as she witnessed the incident. "Such a low-rate citizen. Good luck getting into Hollywood."

Big-Daddy leapt back to land. Every female contestant appeared ready to fight, Jazmin standing in front of every female (plus Hayley and minus Ethelinda and Genevieve).

Jazmin assertively challenged him, "Your ass is going to the graveyard." They randomly break into dance to "Love is a Battlefield."

"We are young! Heartache to heartache we stand! No promises, no demands…love is a battlefield," Jazmin led her group to get ready for their "attack."

"CHARGE!," they gathered like a herd of bulls, stampeding Big-Daddy back to the water. "We are strong! No one can tell us we're wrong," Jazmin turned back to her supporters. "If that douche ever assaults you, you girls let me know."

Kat assured her, "You betcha."

The twentieth boat appeared, leaving a composed, solemn Asian boy. His straight hair blew in the breeze, his clothes consisted of dark turquoise T-shirt and black jeans.

"Nigel! …It really doesn't say anything about you in the description. All I can say is, you're the most unknown out of the whole cast."

No one said anything. Michele said with a graceful grin, "Nice to meet you, Nigel!"

Nigel nodded, joining the others. "There's a lot of drama, isn't there?"

"Yeah, yes there is. I'll try not to let it get through me though."

"Same here…I have my own ways going around it."

Big-Daddy struggled to get back to land, "YO! GET THA BIG-DADDY OUT OF DA WATA!"

"No!," Jazmin shouted, turning around and demanding the ladies not to dare rescue him.

Ethelinda, who was unaware of that, levitated and grabbed Big-Daddy out of the water. She carried him back to land, gently placing him away from the rest of the contestants.

Jazmin gasped, wanting to scold Ethelinda.

Mason smiled however, "You're too kind."

Two more boats reached the shore. One left a joyful girl, dressed in a violet T-shirt with a golden penguin, dark blue skinny jeans and sneakers. She appeared African-American, with her frizzy hair on a bun. She had glasses and sported cosmetics. The other contestant was a somewhat obese (albeit not drastically,) guy with a light green hoodie, and grey jeans with checkered shoes. He looked severely exhausted, having huge dark circles under his eyes. It appeared he didn't shave in a while, his dark brown messy hair all over the place. He carried a pizza box and a GameBoy Advance SP.

"Tania and Zayden! Our last two contestants! Welcome to the island!," Chris shouted, relieved that the episode was almost over.

Tania skipped, waving to the camera, "Hey guys! I'm Tania! I wanna give a personal shout out to my best friend forever Laura, I love you!"

Chris, annoyed, said, "Tania is a cheery girl who tries to make the best of her life, like Felicity. Just not as stupid."

Felicity instantly objected, "I'm not stupid! I have, tons of brains and stuff! I got an E on this, assignment thingy. That's good, right?"

"An E? They give E's on papers now?"

"The grading in England, they give you E's too," Felicity shrilly laughed.

Tania nodded, heading towards the forest to explore.

Meanwhile, Thomas sat behind a huge tree, contemplating on his past.

A black and white dream-cloud background popped up, a small boy sat on the swingset at the playground alone. While he laughed to himself, another little kid with spiky hair wearing all black (together with two other kids) all chuckled sinisterly; the "leader" snuck up behind the little child. He pushed the boy on the swingset, who fell down stomach flat.

The little terror boomed, "You're weird! I'm not your friend anymore!," he and his accomplices ran off, leaving the victim sighing, staring at the ground.

Another flashback occurs, this time the same tormented little boy played with LEGOS, when his father kicked open the door. "Can't you do anything right, Thomas?! You ripped paper all over the living room! Leave the house!"

The little boy looked up at him with wide eyes, "I'm sorry! Please, don't kick me out! Please!"

"No. You're a disgrace to this family, leave this house, now!," his father commanded.

Thomas ran out of the house, deeply heartbroken and feeling deceived. Tears streamed down his cheeks, "And don't ever come back!," his father slammed the front door, leaving Thomas alone in the sidewalk.

Thomas was now trying to fight back the tears. He silently muttered, "There's nothing I can do now."

As Tania kept walking, she heard silent cries. Disturbed, she turned, seeing Thomas burying his head on his legs. She slowly approached him, tapping his shoulder. "Hey, there," she sat down beside him.

"Hey."

"What's wrong? You don't look happy," Tania knew something was up.

Thomas defensively said, "Nothing's wrong. I'm okay."

Tania smiled anyway, "I know something's wrong. Go ahead, tell me. I mean, if you don't want to, than you don't have to. I'm not trying to force you or anything."

Thomas remained silent, not knowing whether to tell her or not. He decided however, he'd keep his thoughts to himself, "No…"

"You don't have to tell me…I just noticed you in the woods and you looked very sad, it bothered me. Not you, the fact you're sad did. Don't be sad…try to be happy," Tania adjusted her glasses, smiling.

Thomas shrugged, "There's nothing for me to say…well I'll say this, I'm a really shy person. That's why I came here. I don't hate people, but people hate me. Most people anyway."

Tania shook her head, "Awe, don't say that. I don't hate you at all; you seem like a nice guy."

"Thanks," Thomas smiled back.

"And trust me, I'm soooo shy. It's not even a joke, but I don't show it. I don't get how that works, actually," Tania added.

They both got up, when Tania motioned to join the others. Thomas nodded. They both smiled while walking back holding hands.

They saw everyone join in a circle with five huge "Papa Johns" pizza boxes from Dominoes lying around. Almost everyone was eating, except for Augustus, who vomited, "American pizza is atrocious to my taste and style."

Zayden was sleeping when Blake and Big-Daddy ran up to join the contestants. The latter pumped his fists up, "YO DAWGIES! WAT UP?!," his pants fell, revealing his genitals.

"Ewww!," the girls covered their eyes right away, "Where is your underwear?! Guys HAVE to wear underwear!," Paisley angrily insisted.

Blake smirked, crossing his arms, "What happened to your pants, dawg? Psh, wannabes like you make me laugh."

"SHUT DA FOK UP, DAWG!," Big-Daddy revealed his grotesque teeth.

Hayley ran around in circles panicking, "I'm blind! I'm blind! Oh help me, I'm blind!"

"All right, everybody! Somebody wake Zayden up, I have a very important announcement to make," Chris clapped.

Michele knelt down, slightly shoving him. "Chris wants you to wake up."

Zayden yawned, trying to get up. "Huh? What's going on?"

"Okay. As you all probably know, I'm Chris McLean and I'll be hosting for the duration of the show. You twenty-two contestants should be very fortunate that I picked you out of thousands of others whose auditions bored me greatly! Our time is short, so I'm going to give everyone the opportunity to go to the confessional, where the outhouse is. You can confess your true feelings, your strategy, shoutouts, whatever. You can freely express yourself over there. Augustus gets to go first, since he's first in the alphabet. Zayden, as the last contestant you get the last confessional, and by the way. The outhouse is soundproof so you can't hear anything their saying outside," he sinisterly chuckled.

* * *

**Augustus: As yet, this has become a major disappointment. What took the wind out of my sail to no extent is how one cannot be taught the magnitude of Greek philosophy. They must have endured a horrendous didactic experience throughout their living years.**

* * *

**Big-Daddy: I dun git it, y she shuff me to za wata. She haz a fine ass, who dun wunna tap dat ass? Tha ladiez r pmsing or somethan!**

* * *

**Blake: Man, this is going to be harder than I thought. I can't believe I got humiliated…thanks a lot Hayley. That wimpy, arrogant whiny dramatic girl calls himself a "man." What the hell? Does he know what a 'man' is? All these people are jealous of me one way or the other…that I know. Kat…so hot and feisty, I have my eye on her.**

* * *

**David: This outhouse reminds me of back home. There's no place like home… no place like home. God, will you help me go through with this, I'll gain friends along the way…right?**

* * *

**Ethelinda: Truthfully speaking, I'm not sure of how events will come to pass. I'm not completely clairvoyant. To clear it up, the nearer the future, the clearer I see it. I do know who is going home next…I won't say who. I know things will only get worse, and it's highly possible I might not stop the conflict amongst one another. I also realize that some people here are deceptive…who, I do not know. Nevertheless, I will try to numb down the conflict by playing the peacekeeper. I've seen way too much inconsistency throughout the years.**

* * *

**Felicity: These people are real nice. So, before I got here, I planned on having a party! To celebrate my last day before going on here…it never happened, and that makes me sad. I'll try to make one here…but I don't know if everyone would like one. I'll have to ask Hayley, I'm sure he'll say yes!**

* * *

**Genevieve: I can't believe I have to speak in this outhouse; the only people who use outhouses anymore are the needy poor peasants. I need a sparkly clean white toilet and golden walls, not this trash! Hayley…ugh, he's so going down. He has no position to upstage a talented person like me. I want to get out of here fast; this wasn't my way of getting the publicity I want. But oh, I'll get my way. Just watch me!**

* * *

**Hayley: Today was crazy! The many personalities were interesting to see, though. By the way, I'm not as dumb as you think. I have a few tricks up my sleeve! Camp Wawanakwa is just another stage where I can perform! Hopefully, I'll perform well! I'd like to make friends, but I have my eye on the prize. Getting that million is like getting Best Actor. I've acted ever since I was four years old; I think I deserve to win.**

* * *

**Iris: Muehehehehehehehehe! Iris is gonna kill you! Hehehe, in YOUR SLEEP!...I slept on the traintracks once...I wonder how I made it out alive. Oh wait I know! MAGIC DID IT! Yeah, MAGIC!**

* * *

**Jacob: I have a thing for the ladies but...I'm much more than that. Horrible first impression, heh? Yeah, I know. I have to admit, I'm socially awkward. I've never had a girlfriend; that's one of the reasons why I came on here. Kat and Ethelinda don't seem to bad, Felicity..wow, talk about big tits. I'm sorry, I can't help myself sometimes. Paisley though, she's so harsh.**

* * *

**Jazmin: ****That "pimp" grabbed my ass! Out of nowhere, he just did it! That douchebag is g****onna pay! Just wait, I'll get that loser out of here, the girls will too. And by the way, he has the worst breath. I'm not even kidding; it smells worse than skunk spray. Sadly, I know that smell…Georgia, you still owe me 20.**

* * *

**Kat: ****Today was hectic. But as long as I'm away from my parents, I'm good. Seriously, I'm done with their crap. It may seem like I'm some spoiled brat who can't deal with strict rules but its way more than that trust me. Just because I'm some "teenager" doesn't mean I'm stupid. I have to win this competition, seriously. I'm done eating scraps, and I'm not gonna be some mooch and constantly beg my friends for money. I'm not that type of person. If I want independence, I gotta learn the hard way. **  


* * *

**Lois: ****Woohoo! Can't you believe it? My first day at Camp Ramshackle and Chains! The ultimate tourist attract…you get my point. This place is beyond horrible. I'm the only sane one here; everyone else is either crazy, stupid, annoying, rude, or a combination. I know I can be rude, but you'd understand if you were me…oh wait, but there's only one me, so forget everything I said.**

* * *

**Mason: I've been at boot camp for a while. I'm used to the screaming, it was for my own good. I can't look back to the past, that doesn't accomplish anything. Speaking of which, Blake reminds me of the how I used to be. Cocky, overconfident. By the end of the show, I'd like everyone especially Blake to leave with respect, responsibility and integrity. Basically all the seven core values I was taught. I know deep down they have potential to be good people, they just need more discipline.**

* * *

**Michele: Something very important about me besides surfing is that I am a huge fan of reality shows and games. Big Brother, The Amazing Race and especially Survivor. You can't understand the strategy and physical demands the contestants undergo without watching Survivor. I have a special notebook, where I recorded the strategies I thought would fit for this show. My strategy is fifty-percent emotion, fifty-percent pragmatism. In order to truly survive, you have to balance the two.**

* * *

**Nigel: I don't have much to say. I can tell things will get ugly, though. All I can do now is sit back, observe everyone. I'll think of a plan when I gather the right amount of information.**

* * *

**Paisley: Pretty much everyone pissed me off today. All they care about is themselves and their goals! They don't bother looking at Mother Nature. She's crying for our help! My number one goal is making sure our environment is perfectly safe. I'm in charge of an organization called, Make The World A Better Place, and that million for me are donations for the EPA and my foundation. I will that million, nobody's going to stop me!**

* * *

**Seth: Fuck my life. Yes, I signed up on my own will, but that's only because I need the money for my rock band back home. We barely even started playing and we have no money at all. We're so broke. I wrote plenty of songs, none that I'm sharing with these ridiculous people. I'm not bothering with people, fuck that. I'm writing my songs here and tuning into my mP3, but that's all you're getting from me.**

* * *

**Stephanie: At Cambria, there's not much to offer. I look at the independent women who live in the city, with their careers and aspirations in the palm of their hand. I want to be like them, they're my biggest inspiration and motivation to push me to work harder. Being the volleyball team captain was a thrilling experience and as much as I enjoy the small town life, it's time for me to go big. You can't do that in a small town.**

* * *

**Tania: Poor Thomas. There's something wrong with him that he won't tell me about. I hope he doesn't hurt himself, I've met people who'd cut themselves. It's horrible. I had a friend who had to go to rehab because he was addicted to cutting himself. I don't like thinking about it, but some people can't be happy. That's fact. I hope we can become friends.**

* * *

**Thomas: …Umm, yeah. Tania is a nice person, but, here's the thing. I don't hate people, but I don't trust people. I was treated like trash by almost everyone I trusted, especially my dad. I used to look up to him, then he threw me out. Yeah…it makes me depressed dwelling on it. I can't help it. What he did traumatized me.**

* * *

**Zayden: So I had this dream…I was eating pizza with a bunch of people. It was so cool, man. Pepperoni makes you reflect about a bunch of stuff…yeah. I'm gonna play Final Fantasy now; it's such a cool game.**

* * *

Chris McLean took centre stage, all twenty-two contestants behind him.

"Twenty-two contestants! All competing for the grand prize! It can't get any better, I assure you. Time ran out, sadly, so we can't showcase this interesting cast anymore. But tune in for the next episode of….Total….Drama….Survival!," Chris threw his hands out, as the episode ends with a black screen.

* * *

_Final words: So this is it! The first chapter! I finished a chapter, eee! I apologize if it's too long, I just had so much to offer and it's best if you familiarize with the contestants. After all, they all play a significant role and serve a different purpose throughout the story. I, once again have to give my biggest thanks to agreenparrot. He wrote the best Total Drama fanfiction ever, and I can't thank him more then I already did. If you'd like, you could review and leave advice, opinions and comments. Especially opinions, I love hearing other people's opinions about the characters, the plot and what I could do in the future. Your input is very, very important to me. I realize that there are probably some "inappropriate" things/words that all TD fanfictions tend to censor. I don't agree with censorship, it restricts the way you express yourself and everyobdy should express themselves freely without interference unless it literally crosses the line. So yeah, see you next time =D_

_So, now you have some sort of idea of what these twenty-two people will bring to the floor. That's not to stay that they'll stay the same forever and ever…that would be boring and pointless. Now is time for the first challenge and the first eliminations :)_


	2. Episode I: Catch-22 (Part II)

Chris McLean stood in front of the contestants with a certain haughty aura. He picked up his microphone, preparing to face the world.

"Last time, on Total Drama Survival, I introduced all twenty-two contestants and…there were some really over-the-top introductions. Big-Daddy had the nerve to sexually harass Jazmin by grabbing her ass. She and the other girls shoved him off the dock. Hayley, the cross-dresser, really took the stage because of his melodramatic persona. Then we have our gothic elderly mage, Ethelinda, who claimed to live in a foreign planet she calls "Ithika". What none of us suspected was her mysterious entrance from…the clouds? Anyway, she captivated all of us, even her skeptics."

As Chris said the last sentence, the camera focused on Seth, Lois and Paisley, who crossed her arms.

Chris said with a disgusted face, "Iris mentally scared us for life with her really…disturbing comments about how all of us will die. Seriously, she belongs back to the madhouse. Genevieve Farrell, the ill-famed diva appeared to her greatest displeasure. She never suspected she'd compete with twenty "everyday" teenagers. Jacob's caused controversy with his "Orgasm Donor" shirt."

"That shirt is seriously disgusting! I can't believe anyone would wear a shirt like that!," Paisley turned to glare at Jacob, who didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah…Blake made many enemies due to his cocky attitude, and just when things were about to come to a close, Thomas was hiding somewhere in the forest for whatever reason. Tania successfully got him to join us, and we'll see what happens there. I really did a great job choosing certain people. Unlike last time…seriously, people like Justin and Zoey bored the hell out of me. No offense to the fans…but yeah. What will happen now that the show just begun? Will they surrender and regret their unsuccessful choices so early? Let's see what's in store in…Total…Drama…Survival!"

A teenage boy band prepared to play the theme song, "I Wanna Be Famous." The stereotypical "attractive" teen pop singer smirked to the camera. However, just when he attempted to sing, a small motorboat rushed to the beaches. Three dark, long-haired guys wearing leather jumpsuits ran out of the boat all together. With their gear in hand, they pushed the singer to the water.

"Hey! What are you guys doing?!," Chris and the rest of the band exclaimed.

One of the guys, assumingly the band-leader dramatically replied with a creaky voice, "Offering way better music then that piece of shit! I'm sick and tired of having to read the same lyrics in every Total Drama fanfiction! Get rid of that humdrum, time for something LOUD!"

"Stop breaking the fourth wall!...fine…it better be good."

The guy whipped a smug grin, as his rock band prepared to perform what could be Total Drama's new theme song.

"Let's show these guys what real music is!," the rock band appeared as an 80's-wannabe rock assemble. They kicked off with "I Wanna Be Somebody" by W.A.S.P.

* * *

_(Author's note: Sadly, I could not post the YouTube link. doesn't allow it. Look it up on YouTube if you're interested!)_

* * *

Few of the contestants (noticeably Seth) seemed impressed by the replacement made. Even Chris smiled at their rock performance.

The rock band kept strumming their instruments, jumping at random moments. The band finished off with a two-minute guitar solo. The guitarist vigorously plucked the guitar, leaping over the contestants. Some contestants backed away, while some looked above them in awe. When the song ended, the contestants were left stunned.

* * *

**Seth: That was so awesome! That saved my day from becoming shit…not really, but it was the best thing that happened all day! That guitar solo was priceless! This better be a frequent thing.**

* * *

The trio immediately sprinted to their exclusive motorboat, not bothering to wave goodbye. They speeded off into the darkness.

Nearly everyone was left astonished by their surprise mini-concert. Chris, smiling widely, nodded in approval, "I LOVED IT! That's gonna be the new theme song now! Graeme Cornies and Dawn Toews, "I Wanna Be Famous" is no longer the theme song, you're all fired!"

Both appeared dismayed, glaring at Chris, "You liar! You said we have a contract! Let's get out of this crummy show; we don't need this stupid show. We're out of here," Dawn grabbed Graeme's hand, as they evaporated into thin air, not to be seen ever again.

"I don't know why I chose them. According to my management firm, their type of music is what's popular nowadays so I assumed, why not?"

Genevieve chuckled haughtily as she walked towards Chris, "You have no idea what's popular at all, do you?"

Chris glared, "…Well, you do know that I'm a little behind this generation!"

Genevieve, rolling her eyes, said with a sly smirk, "Yeah, whatever."

* * *

**Genevieve: Poor Chris, thinking he's all that. **_=rolls eyes=_** He wishes. He's just a wannabe that screams oh, pure desperation and despair. He doesn't know a thing about music, so he should leave that to me. I mean obviously! I'm the singer. He's not. Who's the one with more talent here? Everyone knows the answer to that question. Oh and worst of all, he pretends to be this saucy adolescent boy. Talk about humiliation. And the rock band sucked! This is 2013, people! Not some cheap Eighties party.**

* * *

Chris gathered the contestants in a circle, snatching a microphone from a female intern wearing a red "I Love Chris" T-Shirt and grey sweats. She came across dissatisfied, "Here's your tea, I hope you actually like it this time," she said discourteously, handing him his warm tea.

Chris sipped the tea, only to spit it instantly. "I said hot tea! Not lukewarm! You're fired!"

"Yes! Yes! I'm coming home finally!…," the intern cheered, happily skipping towards the dock.

* * *

**Random Intern: **_=with a huge grin=_** I'm finally fired! I'm free, free at last!**

* * *

"Gee, someone's on a firing streak today," Jazmin pointed out with a hint of annoyance.

"What can I say? She got the wrong job. Not my fault."

Mason nodded in understanding, "What were you about to say, Chris?"

Chris took a deep breath, "Now that all of you are here, I'll do two things. First, I'll give a tour of the island so everyone can get familiar with it. Afterwards, I'll reveal the teams. I meticulously thought out the teams. Therefore, no matter what the explanation is, nobody can switch teams with anyone!"

Paisley was quick to question, "Wait a minute, why can't we choose the teams?"

"Because I said so, that's why," Chris said irritatingly. "Now, come with me."

Chris led everyone around the island starting with the main campgrounds.

Chris turned to face the contestants, "This is the main camp grounds. Out here, you see four cabins. They are divided not only by teams, but by gender as well."

"Thank goodness, I was afraid we'd have to sleep in this on…," Paisley was on the verge of finishing her sentence.

Genevieve, however, interrupted. "This is where we're sleeping? Forget it; I'm not having forty winks in this slumyard. I don't live in the prairie fields of Kansas! Besides, who sleeps in cabins anymore besides poor people?"

"I do, it's pretty nice. Ma always said cabins were pretty," David sincerely answered with a warm smile.

Genevieve brushed him off, patting his hair as if he was a dog, "Oh farmer boy, so gullible. You have so much to learn, darling."

Chris shrugged, walking towards the outhouse, "Here is the communal bathroom and confessional. I already explained what that was last episode."

Chris walked the contestants to the left, leading them to a lavishly looking area. There was a row of wooden seats, a fire pit, and golden lanterns hanging from a continuous string encircling the entire area. "This, my friends, will be one of the more dramatic scenes. This is where the campfire ceremony takes place. When a team loses a challenge, they are sent here to eliminate one camper via majority vote. I'll toss smores made by Chef Hatchet to the campers who are safe from elimination. The one who doesn't get the smore is eliminated from the game! Oh and by the way, you can't come back. Ever!" Chris evilly grinned.

* * *

**Michele: Chris said that last season, guess what happened? He brought back Eva and Izzy. I can see why he brought them back. Think about it. Neither could control their emotions. They were both dangerous sometimes. Chris knew it would stir things up. Being the sadist he is, he picked the right people for that reason. I'm surprised he didn't pick Courtney, even though she was recently eliminated. Anyway, I know he'll do it. Watch and see what happens.**

* * *

Everybody was now in an open, random field. "Originally, I was going to have the boats come by and pick the eliminated people up, but…the boat company whined like pansies. They complained that I was making them do too much work, so instead, I decided too…"

As a small dark blue plane whizzed towards the island, the contestants looked up when the pilot called out loudly, "I signed the contract! Now stop bugging me about doing anymore!" The plane whooshed away from the island.

"That…is how you will go home," Chris sighed.

Tania said with wide-eyes. "I'm scared of heights, you know."

"Don't care… last but not at least, I take you to the main lodge, where you will meet a very special person," Chris smirked.

Genevieve glared at him as everyone walked to their destination.

* * *

**Genevieve: **_=mimicking Chris' voice=_** You'll meet a very special person, blah blah blah. **_=voice returns to normal= _**Ugh, he seriously needs to shut up. The only special person in this island is me.**

* * *

Everyone was at the main lodge, standing in front of the kitchen. The slightly renovated main lodge had two long steel tables instead of old brown wooden ones and twenty-two steel chairs. Across from the tables was an open window that outlooked into Chef's kitchen. Mounted deer antlers rested on top of the window and drawings of various Canadian wildlife landscapes scattered throughout the walls.

"Everyone, meet Chef Hatchet!," Chris threw his arms as the angry chef approached, glaring at the contestants.

"I don't get paid enough for this…I haven't gotten a paycheck for a while," the chef said, before fading into the shadows.

"He will be the one providing you with his special delicacies every morning and night. You shall eat, and only eat, his food. No exceptions, unless you want a plane ride outta here!," Chris happily announced, his hands behind his back.

The contestants all glowered, except for Genevieve, who smirked with special pride.

* * *

**Genevieve: As a celebrity, you tend to have a lot of support…most of the time, if you know what you're doing. I'm not one of those bimbo celebrities like Paris Hilton who relies on others to do stuff for me. The only person I rely on is me. Other people? Oh please, they'll take advantage. Hollywood isn't the beautiful playground many gullible idiots think it is. Of course, Hollywood won't admit that through mainstream media. You have to take advantage of people if you're gonna succeed; you have to be mean in this business. You think I'm not aware of my own arrogance? Open your eyes people, because I'm smarter than you think. What I'm going to do is **_=is cut off=_

* * *

Everyone was back at the campfire pit, Chris standing proudly. "I didn't exactly show you every single part of the island. However, as you can see, we don't have time for that and I don't feel like dedicating just one episode on showing the island. That's stupid. You'll have to explore the island yourself. Now, when I call your name, stand by me."

Most of the contestants looked anxious whereas some seemed smug. "Jacob, Seth, Ethelinda, Zayden, Lois, Paisley, Genevieve, Big-Daddy, Jazmin, Hayley and Michele!"

The requested contestants walk towards Chris, who pulled out a long green banner, tossing it at them. "You shall be called the Screaming Crybabies!"

Everyone in the "Screaming Crybabies" glared at Chris, with fury in their eyes.

* * *

**Paisley: **_=raging=_** I am NOT a crybaby! Chris McLean, you're gonna hear from my lawyers the minute this competition is over!**

* * *

**Seth: **_=bangs head against confessional wall=** You've gotta be fucking kidding me!**_

* * *

The non-called contestants pointed; laughing at them.

Blake teased mockingly, "Awe, who needs some diapers?"

Paisley had enough, pointing her finger at Blake, "Shut up! We're not crybabies! How dare you name us that! Chris, they're the crybabies, not us! You don't have the right to call us that! Change it!"

Chris wickedly grinned, shrugging, "Well, the team name fits. Especially with you on it!"

* * *

**Paisley: He has nerve all right! I may be a huge complainer, but that's only because there's plenty of things wrong with this island! I'm not going to stop bickering until everything in this place is picture perfect.**

* * *

Chris sternly explained, crossing his arms, "The reason I picked you guys to join this team is because, quite frankly, this half of the entire cast are whom I'd regard as the most incompetent…hence the term crybabies."

"You're saying I'm weak?," Seth said bitterly. He stepped forward, cracking his knuckles.

The rest of his team appeared concerned, especially Ethelinda.

* * *

**Ethelinda: **_=appears depressed=_**I knew the conflict would appear sooner than I suspected. **_=eyes starting to water, grabs a black handkerchief=_**Does peace exist in this world?**

* * *

"Yes, Seth. Now shut up and…," Seth wasn't going to allow Chris to finish.

He immediately walked up to Chris with clenched fists. "Don't tell me to shut up," he was ready to give him a piece of his mind when Ethelinda suddenly appeared in front of him, blocking his way.

"Calm down, my child. Do not let Chris control your soul, the sou-," Seth didn't bother listening.

"Get the hell out of my way, or…"

"Okay! Okay! Okay! Look, we seriously have to get on with the show!," Chris surrendered.

"My dear question to thee is…are we really crybabies? Or is that what you dare deem us to be?! But no, this cannot be! This is not but an atrocious declaration! I insist, Mr. McLean! I dearly request that this outrageous name be changed!," Hayley embellished.

"Too bad, Hayley. You'll have to live with it, I guess," Chris chuckled.

All of a sudden, Hayley started crying violently. He surrendered to his knees, burying his head onto the grass. "Please Chris! Oh please! Oh please! I love you oh forever so," he quickly lifted his head, although he stayed on the ground. He then crawled towards Chris, looking up at him mercifully and holding on to his knee tightly. "You must understand, Master!," he squealed in a shrilly voice. "I love you oh so much! Please? Please? I'll give you all my life! Oh please, I'll kill myself if you don't change the team name! I'll do anything Chris…Oh please, just do this for me!"

Seth looked incredibly annoyed, turning his head to face Hayley.

Chris pondered for a few seconds, before making a final decision. "Yeah…no."

Hayley resumed his bawling, whining louder than ever. "No!," he cried as many birds flew away; the wildlife stopped eating its foods.

* * *

**Hayley: **_=burying head on handkerchief=_** Why?! Oh why?! **_=sniffles endlessly=_** This can't be true! I must end my life tonight…I am such a horrible failure, oh how I failed thee. I'm such a horrible person, aren't I? I'm the worst person in the whole wide world? I know, I know…**_=suddenly bawls violently= _**Get ready for your cyanide, Hayley. You're too worthless for this world…my life and blood…spill over!**_ =continues shedding many tears=._

* * *

Ethelinda comes up to hug Hayley, burying his head onto her arm. "'Tis all right, my dear. Tis all right…cry to me, my dear. You can cry to me…," she faintly repeated, stroking his prickly "hair".

Most of the others however, weren't so sympathetic.

* * *

**Lois: **_=mimics Hayley=_** Oh, what a horrible life! I'm such a crybaby! Wah-wah-wah! That's why he was placed here! Wah-wah-wah! **_=goes back to normal voice=_

* * *

If Chris did one thing right, he put Hayley on the correct team. I could care less about what team I'm on. And no, I'm not being sarcastic this time. Chris rolled his eyes, "Come on, the rest of you over here!"

The remaining eleven contestants stood opposite to the Screaming Crybabies.

"Feel very special since unlike the Screaming Crybabies, I deem you all worthy and can't help but predict you eleven and the one fortunate contestant from the Crybabies to pull through all the way to merge."

The remaining eleven appeared smug as Chris finished with, "The rest of you shall henceforth be identified as the Killer Conquerors!"

Most of them applauded at their new team's name.

"Take that, crybabies!," Blake stupidly exclaimed.

The Screaming Crybabies all glared at him.

* * *

**Blake:** _=laughing endlessly=_** I'm not on the Crybabies, I'm not on the Crybabies! Look who's gonna be the champion!** _=attempts to flex muscles, but is revealed to have skinny arms=_ **Look at these biceps**_ =kisses on of the biceps=._

* * *

"I'm done talking for a while…just get ready for the next challenge. It starts in one hour. It's relatively easy…but just to warn you, the challenges will get harder as the competition goes on, so no slacking off!," Chris concluded his welcome as he left the contestants to set out to the main campgrounds.

* * *

**Genevieve:** _=cuts back on=_ **...collect profits through my fansite, The Graceful Genevieve Foundation. My beautiful lovers can donate all their fine little profits to aid me go through this competition**. _=haughtily laughs a little=_ **I know a very fantastic catering company that serves the best food in the whole wide world…better than Chef's pathetic slob. I'm quite great when it comes to memorizing phone numbers, so contacting them shouldn't be a problem. I know it's against the rules but this isn't about Chris and his sad has-been status. You think people care about Chris?** _=bursts into laughter=_ **Yeah please. I'm far more popular than Chris. And you know what? I will get my way, and I don't care what anybody has these poor numskulls say about that. Kay, bye!** _=says in fakely-sweet voice, mockingly waving at camera=._

* * *

_(Setting: Boys Cabin, Screaming Crybabies)_

Hayley drags his pink luggage, leading Jacob, Zayden and Big-Daddy to the Crybabies male cabin. For a second, Hayley stopped, appearing as if he forgot something. He turned towards the other three, announcing in a flirtatious, Monroe-ish voice "I've forgotten something, have I not?"

Jacob and Big-Daddy look at him oddly, while Zayden yawned.

* * *

**Zayden:** _=yawns, stretching his arms=_ **Zayden needs sleepytime…must sleep with Mario…**_=yawns like a lion, falling back on the toilet=_ **whoopsy-daisy…where's my sleepytime?**

* * *

"Doood...y u drezz luk faggut?," Big-Daddy absent-mindedly asked.

Hayley turned around, winking at Big-Daddy while smiling flirtatiously. He bent down, whispering to his ear and suggestively said in his Monroe voice, "Oh darling, I'm not a faggot. I'm just a helpless little girl who needs a good ol' spankin'," he turns around, bending down so Big-Daddy could see Hayley's behind, flirtatiously suggesting, "Go ahead, Daddy. Spank me, just like you spanked Jazmin!"

Big-Daddy seemed disgusted, covering his eyes, "Cova yo' azz, faggut! I no spankie dat! I spunk gurl who luk mi!"

Jacob looked very disgusted as well, "Both of you dudes are disgusting…I think I'm gonna go somewhere else," he ran off at the other direction.

* * *

**Jacob: Excuse me for a sec'…** _=pukes down the toilet=_ **That was so disgusting…seriously Hayley? You're not a girl. Stop acting like one…I don't care if you're gay, honestly. I mean,** _=scratches head=_ **I have nothing wrong with gay dudes, I'm bisexual myself…yeah I said it. I like guys too.** _=awkwardly laughing=_ **but seriously, he went way too far. And Big-Daddy, what you did was not cool. I mean, I love girls and all, but spanking their asses? I'm not like that.**

* * *

"But Big-Daddy, I want you to spank me! I've been such a bad girl," Hayley dramatically spreads his arms while chasing him, scaring him in the process.

"Hulllllllp miiiiii!," Big-Daddy screamed loudly, continuing to scram from Hayley.

* * *

Hayley: _=laughs girlishly=_ **Oh, Big-Daddy. He's totally a hypocrite! He thinks he can smack girls behinds but like…he freaks out when I sexually harass him? Umm…yeah, it's called payback, bitch. And I didn't even touch his behind** _=shudders disgustedly=_ **Never in a million years…and yeah, he needs some relationship counseling, 'cuz he ain't doin' it right!** _=endlessly laughs=_

* * *

Meanwhile, Zayden sluggishly walks to the cabin, struggling to keep his eyes open.

* * *

**Zayden: Haven't slept…forty eight hours! I've been playing Persona 4, the game's literally so….** _=struggles keeping eyes awake=_ **cool…** _=head bobs down, suddenly snores=_

* * *

_(Setting: Random Forest, Seth)_

Seth walked alone in the woods, while listening to Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" via iPod. As Seth fondled with his long blond hair, he sat down on a random tree stump. He was pensive, pondering about his fellow bandmates.

* * *

**Seth:** _=very serious face=_ **These people are the most annoying people I've met in my life. I'm so fucking serious about that. But the most annoying PERSON I've ever met is Hayley. That wimpy girl cries over every fucking thing. He…oh I'm sorry, "she" Look, we're not in theatre!** _=raises voice angrily=_ **Okay?** _=takes quick breather=_** …This is why I need private time. If I could, I'd spend all day by myself. No way in hell would I want to spend time with my "team-mates"**_ =quotes=._ **Everyone is either annoying, arrogant or just plain stupid. Don't get me started with that pompous stupid wannabe. Big-Daddy doesn't know how to get girls, why the fuck does he keep trying? And Ethelinda really freaks me out. Cry to me, my child? What, are you addicted to pot? You sure act like it. Then we have ass-penetrative Paisley who's probably going to force us to recycle our trash, and force us to become pissy tree huggers like her. Oh, I just can't wait for her to treat us like slaves. And yeah…there you have it. My annoying, pathetic teammates. I'm literally contemplating suicide right now, I don't know if I can handle this** _=buries head onto his hands=._

* * *

Seth stood up from the tree stump, silently muttering to himself, "My shadow's the only one that walks beside me. My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating. Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me. 'Till then I walk alone."

Seth kept walking, wanting to walk alone. He thought there was nobody he could relate to, and felt there was no 'hope' for him. He walked, walking alone hearing his shallow heartbeat.

* * *

_(Setting: Girls Cabin, Screaming Crybabies)_

The girls were slightly more dysfunctional, with all of the girls (but Ethelinda and Genevieve) sitting on the hard wooden floor inside their cabin, forming a circle.

Unsurprisingly, Paisley spoke first. "I don't trust the boys. Especially that guy who sexually harassed you, Jazmin."

Jazmin nodded, "I don't know what his problem is, but if he does it again, I'll…"

Paisley interrupted without hesitating, "We're gonna give him a piece of our mind! That's what we're going to do. People like him make me sick, and I absolutely refuse to have that slimeball be a part of our team."

Michele calmly interjected, "Umm Paisley? We shouldn't be too brash. I understand he frustrates everyone, but we shouldn't insult him. He's…,"

"I don't care, Michele," Paisley rudely ignores her input. "He slapped a girl's behind on public television! We're not cutting any slack here!," she demandingly jabs her finger at Michele, "That little insect doesn't belong in this show. He degrades us women, and treats us like we're prostitutes. And we're not having that!," she shouted louder towards the end.

Michele wanted to reply. Nevertheless, Paisley stood up, closing her eyes and continuing her coercive lecture with a haughty facial expression, "And also? We should form an all-girl's alliance that we keep secret from the boys. I'm clearly the leader since I'm the one who brought it up. I also have a pretty good experience with leadership; I'm head of the Conservation Club in my school. So, I elect myself to be leader of the alliance? And every girl in this room is going to be in it," Paisley insisted.

"Sounds good to me, because Big-Daddy seriously needs the boot," Jazmin wholly agreed.

Michele looked peeved for a second, but quickly put on a smile, "Okay, I'll be part of the alliance. I agree, we should eliminate Big-Daddy. He'll probably be a bit of a challenge burden if we keep him."

Paisley smiled back, "Very well Michele! I'm glad you changed your mind. Welcome to the alliance," she turned to see Lois, who hinted disinterest. "Lois? Have you actually listened to me this entire time? You better have!"

Lois gazed up at her, keeping her solemn expression, "I listened to every word. I agree, Big-Daddy is voted off if we lose."

"Very good Lois!," Paisley's grin widened. She stretched out her arm, "Handshake to keep this alliance a secret and stay loyal? Everyone stays loyal to the alliance, right?"

Michele, Jazmin, and Lois all shook hands with Paisley.

* * *

**Lois:** _=very grave face=_ **I will definitely allow this girl to dictate my strategy in the game. Tell me who I should vote for, tell me what to do, yeah I'm okay with that. Her speech was also so livid, that's why I was so tempted to turn away many times. Actually, I did turn away.**

* * *

**Michele:** _=looks deeply annoyed=_ **I understand where she's coming from with the Big-Daddy problem. She justifies that we should get rid of him, because he sexually harassed Jazmin. Of course, Jazmin agrees. However, I don't trust Paisley. She doesn't realize it, but she acts exactly like Courtney. Courtney was sneaky and manipulative at unplanned times. Whether Paisley is trying to manipulate us is something I'll try to look into later in the game, when more people are eliminated. Right now however, there's no way in telling. Frankly, Paisley annoys me enough with her arrogant attitude. Did you see how she interrupted me? She was so rude; she basically disregarded everything I said. She didn't allow any of us to elect her as leader, she announced herself as the leader just because she talked first. See what I mean when I said she's like Courtney? Maybe she's the one that should be voted off… And she expects me to blindly follow her? Maybe she's the one that should be voted off…**

* * *

**Paisley: So the girls agreed to join my alliance?** _=suddenly cheers, albeit slightly= _**That's very good news! I could invite Ethelinda and Genevieve but…I'm not sure if they'd want to join, and I don't know if I'd want them to join. Ethelinda is weird, I don't like weird people. Genevieve acts like she's more important than she actually is. If Big-Daddy gets eliminated, we should eliminate her. There's no way she'll last longer than I will. Who likes her anyway?**

* * *

_(Setting: Boys Cabin, Zayden)_

Zayden didn't move an inch. He continued to snore on the stairway steps leading to the cabin door. As he kept sleeping, there was a slight whooshing noise. A few seconds went by, and the sound grew louder. Without warning, Zayden woke up, dazed and confused.

* * *

**Zayden:** _=space cadet time_** Huh?...What was that, Igor?...Huh? Change the Persona? Yeah, okay….** _=appears very drowsy=_

* * *

Unexpectedly, a similar, frail woman sat on the footsteps. She had a warm smile, touching Zayden's right shoulder. "I sense sickness and a heavy case of lethargy and depression," Ethelinda quietly mutters.

Zayden quickly snapped to his senses, "…Who…are you?"

The elderly lady humbly laughed, "You were busy in your little coma there. Why, I am Ethelinda, an elderly wizard."

Zayden looked excited, suddenly smiling, "You're a wizard?!"

"Yes, Zayden," Ethelinda kept her worn, genial smile. "And you are a coach potato...," Ethelinda closed her eyes, "…the Angels tell me that you enjoy video games and reading, or am I wrong?"

He nodded, "I freaking love video games, man. They are my life!"

"You…do not speak of numerous words. You are afraid of something." Ethelinda abruptly announced.

He jumped out of the staircase, frightened as ever, "…How do you…? What? Afraid? What am I afraid of?...You're creeping me out, man."

"I am sorry…," she meekly apologized, "I do not intend to scare anyone, child. I am simply here for conversation."

Zayden nodded, not wanting to speak.

"I do not know what you are depressed of, Zayden. However, your subconsciousness is a melancholic one. You are alone, you fear someone…the person, I do not know…I am very sorry," Ethelinda held a hand over her heart, letting go of his shoulder.

He gazed at Ethelinda, who retained her hopeful smile. She looked up to the sky, keeping her hand placed on her heart, "Someday, a light will guide you…it will lead you to a special place, a place of universal bliss. Heaven it is not, nor is it in Ithika. You will be happy, you will love yourself. You might give up some things sooner than you intend, but someday…your mind will open, and broaden your views of reality and of people…, that is all I know, Zayden."

Zayden was left confused, although he had a vague idea what she meant. He struggled to stand up, encouraging Ethelinda to help him up. "You are a fine person, Zayden. However, you are very lost in life. That is perfectly normal for a typical adolescent. You are confused due to conflicting personalities within oneself and others. Someday, you shall conquer that," Ethelinda wrapped her arms around him, who was still left confused. However, he did not fight back against her, somehow thinking that her intentions were good.

Ethelinda walked down the mini set of stairs, allowing Zayden to privately ponder on what she meant.

* * *

**Zayden:** _=is in deep thought=_ **A wizard? I thought that was in video games and stuff…I didn't know they were real. She's a good person, right? Yeah? Hmm…she's…weird.** _=yawns, but not as bad as before=_**I'll try talking when she's quiet…I meant, no. I meant when I'm less lazy.**

* * *

_(Setting: Campgrounds, Killer Conquerors)_

The girls on the Killer Conquerors were not compelled with alliances and order. Stephanie, Kat, and Felicity took a stroll around the campgrounds, talking to one another non-stop.

Stephanie crossed her arms, narrating didactically, "My broadcast journalism class was preparing for the homecoming football game at my high school back in California, and this cheerleader Holly was acting like such a, excuse my language…"

Kat remained stoic, while Felicity childishly giggled, "That's all right, my friends use horrible language all the time anyway!"

"Such a… bitch," Stephanie wore a guilty expression, appearing regrettable.

Felicity further laughed, her cheeks now a rosy red, "Awe. I'm sorry!"

"Don't be," Stephanie continued without much emotion, "She threatened to report our club if we didn't take billions of pictures of her cheerleading."

"Now you know why preppiness annoys me," Kat abruptly interjected. "There are such narcissists. And the sad thing is, they're pretty much everywhere."

"So, if there was one narcissist in the whole world, would that mean that person is the best person in the world?," Felicity turns around and asked.

Stephanie cackled, but Kat facepalmed. Kat went on to say, "Why would you think that?"

"I get what she means," Stephanie continued to giggle innocently. "…but yeah. Broadcast journalism is interesting though, and I won't let silly high school drama decide my future!," she suddenly sounded more assertive.

* * *

**Kat: **_=yawns= _**Sorry, but this isn't my idea of fun. I'd spark a little something…but I'm so tired.**

* * *

"I'm gonna go for a little rest, see ya'," Kat walked away from the two girls. Both of them stared at each other, shrugging and continuing to chat.

* * *

**Felicity: Kat is so sad all the time. Poor girl, I want to help her! **=_frowns=_

* * *

_ (Setting: Girls Cabin, Killer Conquerors)_

Tania sat by herself, gazing through the front window and watching the forest that vaguely stood in the background.

* * *

**Tania: I like hanging out with people and all, but I just needed time to think about Thomas. Kat asked me if I wanted to hang out, but **_=shrugged=_ **and then there's Iris…**

* * *

Iris was sitting on a large tree branch that overlooked the main campgrounds. She analyzed the area from afar, standing on her hands. "Muehehehehehe! It's time to play a game!," she surprisingly now stood on her feet, pulling off various twigs.

* * *

**Iris: Muehehehehehehehe! I told you I was gonna mutilate that tree! I wish I had a saw so I could see the tree bleed! BLEED, BABY BLEED! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

* * *

Iris showed off her mischievous smirk, carelessly tossing the long, skinny twigs at the campground.

While Stephanie and Felicity conversed, sitting on a log, one of the twigs suddenly knocked Stephanie out of the log.

Felicity gasped, immediately rushing to her aide, kneeling down to help her up, "Are you all right?"

"Where did that come from?," Stephanie said, slightly annoyed.

Just when she asked, they heard a similar, long crazy cackle.

"Don't tell me someone threw those twigs at us," Stephanie's annoyance greatened.

"Maybe it's raining twigs!," Felicity chirped, grinning widely.

Tania, who watched the incident, laughed to herself too. Suddenly, she heard a loud thud knock on the door.

"Peek-a-boo!," Tania jauntily expressed her randomness.

There was no answer, the door did not open nor did anyone reply.

"Stephanie?," she skeptically went towards the door, unlocking the door. The very person she was concerned about throughout the entire day stood on the doorsteps, looking down on his feet.

"Thomas," Tania sighed regrettably.

A few seconds of silence dominated the atmosphere, before he muttered, "Hello."

Tania faintly smiled, resigning herself to the bottom bunk, "Hey. Sit down, Thomas," she pats down the bed sheets.

"I was afraid that you girls were busy talking about something."

"Nah," Tania giggled, "actually I was thinking about you."

"Why?"

"Well, you seem…sad," Tania sighed, adjusting her glasses.

"I kinda am sometimes, I was thinking about whether you honest," Thomas sat down aside her. "I don't hate you or anything, and I hope you're not offended, it's just…I'm alone because…for a lot of reasons. I want to be, but I don't want to be. I like people and want to make friends, but I also don't want to make friends. You get what I mean?"

Tania nodded, "I do. I feel that way sometimes."

"Sometimes, I feel like nobody cares about me. I've been thrown around a lot, you know?," Thomas hid his hands onto his jacket sleeves.

"Awe, I'm very sorry about that," Tania felt a kick in her heart.

"It's okay…and I'm…," Thomas stuttered, "I'm glad you care. Well, at least I think you do."

"I care," Tania smiled once again. She giggled innocently, "You're so timid."

"Yeah, I know."

"Umm, one question. You don't have family or friends that could help you?"

Thomas remained silent for a minute, Tania quiet as well. "My dad kicked me out of the house when I was little. Then I was put into foster care. I don't know why but, I always tried to play with the other kids. They said I was weird and annoying, and always pushed me around. I thought since, if my peers didn't care, I just might as well back off. And now here I am, just another guy."

"A lot of people get bullied, Thomas. That's just life, and who cares if you're different? Being different is way better than acting like how somebody else wants you to. You have more freedom that way. That's kind of why I struggle finding friends. But hey. I'm happy with myself," Tania spoke softly.

"How do you fight back?," Thomas asked suddenly.

"People fight back different ways. Some are like me, I just ignore 'em. I pretend to listen, walk off. That works for some people though, I don't know. Some are aggressive back; stooping down to the same level as the bully, if you know what I mean. And some just don't do anything, some act like punching bags."

Thomas nodded in understanding. "There are a lot of rude people in the world. You can't change them. That I know. Honestly, I don't have that many friends. I never could make a true, long-lasting friend. I doubt I ever will, and I don't want to sound like a pessimis-"

Tania quickly interrupted him, letting out a shy smile, "Don't say that, you made your first one today."

Thomas beamed up, smiling hopefully. "Really? But, we just me-,"

"Who cares if we just met?," Tania grinned, shrugging. "You're not a bad guy. But I have one thing to do…I need to crack your shell! We gotta get you out of that shell of yours so you can make more friends, right?"

Thomas remained silently, when Tania lept up to him, hugging him tight. "Let's go shop around the forest."

"Shop around the forest?," Thomas appeared puzzled.

"Oh there's plenty of things in the forest to find! Stop asking questions, come on, let's go!," Tania grabbed his hand, making Thomas follow her to the midst's of the forest.

* * *

**Thomas: That was fast…she wanted to become my friend right away? Wow…I'm kind of happy now. This is so, unexpected. Who am I to complain though? I have a friend all ready. **=_grins widely=_

* * *

_(Setting: Boys Cabin, Killer Conquerors)_

The guys seem quite relaxed, even though some are visibly dissatisfied.

Every guy (minus Thomas) settled down in their new cabin, throwing their luggage down.

David looks up, examining the cabin, "It feels like I'm back in Kansas again..."

Mason cleared his throat, calling for attention, "I know none of you want to hear this too early, but it's the only time I can say it. We have to learn to work as a team, work together. We must rely on each other and the first challenge starts in an hour. Not to mention that we're the Killer Conquerers. We can't lose to the Screaming Crybabies, remember what Chris said about him expecting us to make it to merge?"

Blake quickly interrupted his hasty address, "Whose bunks are whose? I claim the top one."

Nigel tossed himself to the bottom bunk, "I'm fine right here on the bottom."

"…Guys, we have to wait for Thomas before we settle our bunks. We have to be fair," Mason lectured.

"Fuck that, I'm not waiting for that scaredy-cat," Blake threw in, lying down.

Mason didn't appear too happy, and wanted to correct Blake's choice of words. However, Augustus calmly, seemingly unaware of what was going to happen. "Alas, Chris imposed that we are to reside in this pigsty and all the same, there is naught we are able to work out at this stage."

"Okay, Mr. Boring Philosopher," Blake rudely teased. "What are you going to teach us today, since we already know about your boring life in Greece."

"Shut up, Blake!," Mason stood up, now furious. "You have no right to insult anyone in this cabin. And by God, if I have to shape you up to become a better man, so be it! I am not having this crap!"

"You can't tell me what to do! Who are you, my dad?! I don't have to listen to you," Blake jumped down his bunk, perfectly landing on his feet.

This scared David, who stepped back immediately.

"We can relax, you know…," Nigel remained in his bunk. "Come on guys, I know it's a rough day, but… why can't we chill and take a deep breath for now?"

"Because we have an immature bully who doesn't have a nice thing to say about anyone! That's why we can't relax? And why are you not helping?!," Mason turned to face Nigel, implying that he wanted someone to defend his position.

"Guys, God never intended for this to happen!," David suddenly said. He hinted worry in his eyes, giving a frightful stare at Mason.

"Of course you would say that," Nigel sighed defeatedly.

As Augustus looked on, he suddenly grabbed David's hand without his knowledge. He slowly barged himself in the middle of controversy, somehow brave enough to remain calm while Mason and Blake continued their quarrel.

"Seriously guys, you're all gonna be wimps and walk away?!," Blake narrowed his eyes.

* * *

**Blake: **_=looks super-annoyed= _**Jesus' new disciple and this Greek Philosopher decided to be wimps and leave the cabin because they couldn't handle us arguing. Typical…Greek philosopher thinks he's all smart. I can tell how arrogant of a bastard he is. His bearing flat out says it. He doesn't HAVE to say it; I can tell he thinks he's better than all of us. I'm thinking about if we lose the challenge…whether we get rid of him. At least Mason's more honest; Augustus really seems more deceptive…**

* * *

"It's fine! Go ahead if you feel uncomfortable! I understand how everyone feels right now and Blake, I am this close to…," Mason began clenching his fists, lifting his arms.

Nigel surprisingly didn't budge; rather he was actually interested in the conflict. He wanted to analyze them.

"You are pushing your luck, Blake! I cannot have you bully our own teammates! Bullying is completely unacceptable! And I can't stand bullies! I hate bullies, I don't like th-," Mason's rant was cut short again.

"Why do you keep calling me a bully, Mason? You haven't met anyone in my school, all right? My school has some real bullies. They beat up random kids! At least I don't beat up people. Besides, you guys are weird. Weird people annoy me to a great extent," Blake attempted to justify his behaviour.

"Just because you don't beat up other people…doesn't make you not a bully. You constantly call people names, like Weird Philosopher for Augustus and Scaredy-Cat for Thomas, words hurt just as much as fists do, and you have to realize what you're doing is incorrect!," Mason continued his lecture, somehow calming down now.

"I have to interrupt, but Blake. Let me just ask you this. What makes you want to call others by derogatory names?," Nigel sincerely asked, still sitting on his bunk.

"Dude, like I said, weird people annoy me. It's not that I hate them, they just really annoy me," Blake shrugged.

"Just because they annoy you doesn't mean you have the RIGHT to CALL them names! How many times do I have to repeat myself, you stupid, deaf person?," Mason banged his hand against a table beside him.

Nigel rolled his eyes, not wanting to talk further. Blake and Mason's squabble carried on; when Nigel decided he had enough, slipping through the cabin door.

* * *

**Mason: I really want all of us to respect each other and learn responsibility. Some people, like Blake, are too stubborn to do it. I'll give him time for now…he reminds me of how I used to be, until I got sent off by my parents to boot camp. Damn it, I was pissed off that I remember. After a while, you change, whether you like it or not. Honestly, I think it changed me for the better. I don't intend to make people feel miserable; I just want my teammates to learn something valuable that will help them for the rest of their lives. Things like respect, responsibility, honor. You can't survive this world if you think everything is about you, but Blake doesn't get that yet, I guess.**

* * *

_(Setting: Few Minutes Away From The Conqueror's Boy's Cabin, David and Augustus)_

While Blake and Mason continued arguing over why bullying is not acceptable, Augustus and David found a private tranquility of their own. They were vigilant to keep quiet, not wanting to cause any trouble.

Augustus started talking first, closing his eyes in the process. "I genuinely miss my phrontistery. It was a rather pulchritudinous edifice, where I administered time to contemplate the conceptions and a variety of supplementary elements of palaeosophy, to repetitiously scrutinize the antiquated man, his profound prospects. Perhaps I could mayhap delineate my overwhelming detestation against the incalculable quantity of philosophasters they are in this lamentable universe. Such idiotic foolish charlatans shall be looked down upon and feel the uttermost abhorrence for the remainder of their existence. Their fraudulent vocations and ostensible "revelations" of original philosophies bring aspersion and dishonor upon candid philosophers such as myself."

David could only nod, completely bamboozled by his elaborate explanation as to why he couldn't stand fraudulent philosophers. "I see…what is a phrontistery?"

Augustus had put down his bamboo cane, "My phrontistery is a special type of academy, what Americans deem to be "schools." My phrontistery is located no other than in Athens, or as we Athenians deem it, the protevousa, it is Greek for "the capital." It is actually an incredibly picturesque conurbation."

"…My Momma says Athens is really dirty, though," David eyed him carefully.

Augustus only snickered at this, "Your maternal figure has, on no account whatsoever, ever endured on an elaborate excursion to Greece. The American media propaganda is an implausibly untrustworthy, preposterous source of prejudiced, bigoted information…but about my phrotistery, it immensely contrasts as opposed to your orthodox academies back in the States. We heavily devote our quality time questioning the probable existence of the Greek deities. Zeus…oh Zeus. As much as I candidly disagree with his excessive level of affluence, I could not, and nay will I thwart against thee. Erewhile, I must eschew from the palpable antagonism Athens, alike nigh of the prevailing cities. I sweven an unspeakable regression throughout all of human civilization, it is forsooth a deep, ominous menace. Our phronitestery auspiciously have meticulously assembled a plan to resolve this superfluous, redundant quandary. Now I shall inquire, what is your beloved initiative with regards to how all of us, as homo sapiens, ought to resolutely reconcile this trifling matter?"

David answered with, "Well…I think God will solve all of our problems eventually. I just hope this place isn't any trouble…Do you suppose there's such place? There must be. It's not a place you can get to by a boat or a train. It's far, far away. Behind the moon, beyond the rain. Perhaps…somewhere over the rainbow?"

* * *

**David: God says the world is a beautiful place…a place with plenty of good people, I don't think anyone here would lie to me or hurt me, but some evil people too…but Momma says all evil people go to the bottom place, no matter what. Unless they pray for forgiveness, then they get another chance.**

* * *

Augustus shook his head, "Humankind is no longer progressing by any means necessary. Nothing but wanion."

"Humankind? You mean people, right?" David looks confused.

Augustus sighs, looking a little bothered by his thinking.

Suddenly, a monstrous roar dominated the atmosphere. "Your hour is over! Meet me in the cliff now! Oh, and before I sign off, grab your swimwear! It's time for your first challenge!"

All of the contestants suddenly rushed out of their cabins, sprinting towards the camera very quickly.

* * *

**Genevieve: Yes, I'm back in the confessional again. **_=rolls eyes= _**I simply dropped by to tell you my plan. I'm not really interested in manipulating people, although I will in some points. I have to, anyway. Look at Big-Daddy! Manipulating Big-Daddy would be like manipulating Lil' Wayne, it's soooo easy! You don't even have to know chess to manipulate that idiot! =**_gets out cigar, smoking= _**My biggest threats are Hayley and Paisley. Oh, oh, oh. Their names rhyme! That's because they both SUCK! They're both drama queens that don't know how to shut up, they're like broken vinyl records from Goodwill. **=_cackles= _**I mean, let's admit it here, we all know they're nothing but a bunch of losers. They better watch out, and so do the others, because they're time is running short. I mean Paisley, talk about one-sided zeal. She'd make a great Green Party candidate for our next presidential election. **=_cackles=_** I'm definitely going to have fun on this team…**


End file.
